I’ve missed
our time together. Even though I never
really know if or when you read this, I feel connected to you ;-). This is Wednesday, but I don’t know when this
will actually get posted because our internet has been out since Sunday night,
when we were hit by a tornado that roared through our area without
warning. We’ve sustained damage to our
house and property, and many trees are down; but we’re unharmed, blessed, and
thankful to our Heavenly Father for the grace He’s shown us.
Three people
were killed within a half mile of us.
Since we live in the country where houses are a good distance apart, that’s
more like a city block. Those deaths are
sad and sobering and make me truly recognize how fragile and precious life
really is. It could have been us; but I
suppose He has more for us to do before He takes us home.
One of my
grandchildren told me, “It’s like there was a shield over your house.” When I look at the trees that were taken down
immediately in front and immediately in back of the house, it’s obvious that He
did have a shield around us. The house
is standing, solid, and livable. The
damage can be repaired. Thank you, Lord
Jesus, for your protection. And if He
had chosen to take us on Sunday night, I would have been grateful for that
protection, as well—when we’re with Him, no more evil can touch us!
As in all
things, my Lord used this opportunity as a teaching point; and I learned
something about myself through this experience:
I tend to sugarcoat reality.
That’s different from being thankful.
You can stare reality in the face yet still be thankful. It took 24 hours and a comment by a deputy
sheriff about disaster services that are available to make me realize that I
was not facing the truth. When people
asked how we were and what happened, I’d tell them about the results—the roof
damage, the trees down, the torn up fences, etc.—ending with how blessed and
thankful we are; but mentally, I denied the fact that we had been hit by a
tornado and are living in a disaster area.
The things I said were true, but I didn’t want to face the fact that I
was a tornado victim.
As I
pondered all of this, I realized that’s a pattern for me. Why?
More pondering….
1. I don’t like the word “victim”. It makes me sound weak and defeated.
2. I don’t want to have a “victim”
mentality.
3. I don’t want to be someone who makes
a big deal and blows things out of proportion.
4. I don’t want to be the center of
attention.
5. It’s fun to give aid to someone else
but hard to receive it myself.
6. I want to be positive and optimistic,
not negative and pessimistic. I’ve been
under the misguided opinion that “positive and optimistic” doesn’t admit the
bad stuff is really bad stuff (except to my closest friends, and then I feel
like a complainer—see #3).
Jesus lived
in reality. He spoke all of the truth—even
the negative. I’ve never heard anyone
call Him a complainer! James 1:4 says
that our goal is to be “mature and complete”.
How can I be complete if I ignore a big part of reality?
Being a
victim doesn’t mean that I’m defeated or that I can’t be a victor, a
survivor. It simply means something happened
to me. I can be a victim without having
a “victim” mentality. I can be a victim
without blowing it out of proportion or trying to be the center of
attention. I can be a gracious victim
who allows others the blessing of being the giver, even as I’m blessed by
receiving. And I can be a victim and
still be positive and optimistic. I can
be a victim who survives and overcomes through the power of the Holy Spirit, a
victim with a grateful heart to my Savior, Protector, Provider, and Sustainer.
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