Well, I'm Worse Than I Thought I Was!

COMMENTS

While I believe what I said in my last post is true, God was not content to leave me there.  I praise Him for that.  This blog will best be understood if read in connection with the last one, “Well, I’m Not As Bad As She Is!”

NOTES

After I wrote that last blog, God started working on my heart.  Shortly thereafter, I started reading 1 Timothy.  It was written by the apostle Paul (formerly Saul) to Timothy, a young man who was the leader of the church in Ephesus.  I didn’t get very far before the Lord stopped me in my tracks.  Here’s 1 Timothy 1:15-17:

“Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance:  Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.  But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.  Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.”

Now, I know that Saul was a passionate enemy of the early church and even hunted down Christians, believing them to be blasphemers and heretics who had abandoned and even turned against the One True God.  But was he truly “the worst of sinners”?  Worse than those evil kings we read about in the Old Testament who attacked, tortured, and took millions of God’s people into slavery?  To my mind, no.  He came after a few, but they came after the entire nation.  Still, he considered himself “the worst of sinners”.

As the days went by, I was consumed by Paul’s words.  He considered himself the worst of sinners, but he was TONS better than me.  As I said in my last post, I KNOW I’m a sinner.  No question about that.  However, if Paul was so much better than I am, how could I not surpass him as “the worst of sinners”.  Something just wasn’t adding up.

God continued working on me.  Although I don’t believe I will ever be able to fully grasp it, I began to get a glimpse of things from God’s viewpoint.  That “comparison” thing is what’s hanging me up.  In spite of what I think, say, or write, I still compare myself to others—preferably to those to whom I compare favorably!  In other words, I compare myself to people who, in my mind, make me look like less of a sinner.  That led me to an eye-opening revelation:

COMPARISON ITSELF IS A SIN.

It DISCOUNTS and MINIMIZES my sin.

Last time, I asked what I thought was the “right” question:  Am I a sinner?  This time I must ask an even more basic, more probing question:  What is sin?  REALLY.  At its deepest, most critical level, what IS sin?

I’m ashamed to say that I’ve only looked at sin from a bird’s eye view, a “dictionary” meaning:  Sin is “an offense against [God]”; a “transgression of the law of God”.  I truly recognize that I am a sinner, and I name the sins I’m aware of and ask God to forgive me for them all, known and unknown.  I have truly accepted Jesus as my Savior, and I dearly love Him.  However, God has chosen this moment in my life to call me to a deeper understanding of sin and why He doesn’t see sin in levels or degrees.  SIN IS SIN!

I doubt that I can put into words the thoughts in my head and the feelings in my heart.  I pray that God will take the words I write and do in your heart what He wants to do.

Sin is truly not anything that can be compared.  I have deceived myself (and listened to Satan) by falling into the “comparison” trap.  The last verse of the passage quoted above (1 Timothy 1:17) says:  “Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.”

Anytime I don’t honor God as the “King eternal”, the “immortal” God, the “invisible” God, “the only God”, I discredit Him.  He is good, kind, patient, loving, strong, forgiving, and generous.  More than that, He is worthy of all blessing, honor, glory, praise, adoration, and OBEDIENCE.  He is God Almighty, Lord of All.

Sin is not telling a lie, stealing, or even committing murder.  Although these things qualify as sins, sin is more; it is deeper.  Sin is anything that doesn’t treat, recognize, and honor God for who He is.

When I recognize that and stop the comparisons, I can begin to get just a glimpse of how truly ugly my sins are.  Lord, I beg you to pierce my heart with the realization that I truly am the worst of sinners.  Break my heart every time I dishonor You.  Help me to fight the temptation to compare.  Give me a heart that longs to bring honor and glory to Your Name in all that I do, think, and say.  Most of all, THANK YOU that you have covered my sins with the blood of Jesus and that I am your FORGIVEN child!!

Well, I'm Not As Bad As She Is!

COMMENTS

A question in my Bible study this week caused me to start thinking about how we all compare ourselves with other people.  Even though it wasn’t the point of the question, my thoughts wandered to sin and how easy it is for me to dismiss it with the above statement: “Well, I’m not as bad as she is!”

 

NOTES

I’ve been told all my life that, in God’s eyes, sin is sin.  For Him, there are no “levels” or “degrees”.  SIN IS SIN.  If I’m honest, my human mind cannot wrap itself around that thought.  I don’t care what you say, that lie I told or the pen I took (stole) from work in no way compares to the atrocities that Hitler committed in the 1930s and 1940s.  I’M NOT AS BAD AS HE WAS!

As I pondered all of this, I realized that I’ve actually been asking the wrong question.  The question is not, “How bad is my sin?” or “Is my sin worse than that of someone else?”  The question is, “Am I a sinner?” 

Many people believe that they should be allowed into heaven if their good deeds outweigh their bad.  So, what’s the cutoff point?  51% Good Deeds to 49% Bad Deeds?  60% to 40%?  75% to 25%?  What if we look at numbers instead of percentages.  50 or fewer sins gets you in?  1000 or fewer gets you in?  Taking the latter number, I get in if I have 999 sins, but I go to hell if I have 1001?  I can already hear the cries of how unjust this “arbitrary” number is!

Our God is a holy and righteous and just God.  Holiness, righteousness, and justice demand that a penalty be paid when a sin is committed.  Even one.  So, comparisons must be thrown out the window.  Whether or not I’m a sinner has nothing to do with how I compare with anyone else.  If I have committed even one sin, I have disqualified myself from Heaven and its perfection; and I have earned hell.  And I will be bold enough to say that every one of us has committed MANY more than one sin!

So, there you go.  Maybe I’m not as bad as “she” is or as Hitler is.  But is that an excuse?  Does that make any difference at all?  Bottom line:  No.  I’m still a sinner.  I still deserve hell.  I still don’t deserve heaven.

Now for the GOOD NEWS!!  God loves me enough that He wants me there anyway!  Go figure!  So the Three-in-One decided that Jesus would come in human form—100% God and 100% man—and pay the penalty for me.  I don’t have to earn it (which is good because I can’t earn it anyway).  I didn’t even ask for it.  It’s a gift, and all I have to do is accept it.  I can pay the penalty in hell, or I can accept His gift and spend eternity in Heaven with Him.  Why in the world would I refuse a gift like that?!